


burning bright right till the end

by taizi



Category: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 11:15:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13879716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taizi/pseuds/taizi
Summary: He looks the same as he always has. Silver-washed, as though he melted out of moonlight to join Kaname on a walk through the woods; soft, and faintly wild, and all of sixteen.





	burning bright right till the end

He looks the same as he always has. Silver-washed, as though he melted out of moonlight to join Kaname on a walk through the woods; soft, and faintly wild, and all of sixteen. 

Kaname is torn in two directions, one way icy horror and the other creeping grief. He’s frozen in the middle, stuck going nowhere, not quite feeling anything yet. 

Natsume can barely look at him. 

Helping hands Kaname can’t see grip Natsume by the arms and haul him back onto his feet. The ayakashi tug his clothes straight and ruffle his hair fondly. Natsume murmurs his thanks by rote, eyes glued to the ground. Ponta, in his lucky cat form, is sitting at Natsume’s feet like a squat little guard. 

“Were you ever going to tell me?” Kaname asks, numb all the way through. Natsume winces, the question landing like a blow.

He doesn’t answer, which is perhaps answer enough. 

Footsteps crunching through leaves and forest litter draw Kaname’s eyes to the edge of the clearing, where Kitamoto and Nishimura are shoving their way through stubborn brush. 

“ _There_ you are,” Kitamoto says, exasperated. “What are you doing?”

Kaname can’t come up with an answer fast enough to satisfy. Nishimura scowls and jabs a finger at him. 

“Enough playing around, Tanuma. It’s cold and Natsume doesn’t have a jacket. You know how easy he gets sick. We don’t have time for hide and seek.”

“Right,” Kaname says hoarsely. “You guys go ahead, we’ll catch up.” 

“Sure. We’ll be waiting at my house,” Kitamoto tells him agreeably, and tugs Nishimura with him by the hood as he turns to leave. Nishimura squawks and stumbles, and stubbornly calls back over his shoulder.

“When you find Natsume, tell him we’re having curry!”

The silence is heavy when they’re gone. Kaname can barely breathe through it. Natsume is staring down at his hands. 

A powerful yokai, but no power is limitless, and Natsume used every scant scrap of his magic to make himself real to them for as long as he could. And now that magic is fading and he’s fading with it, into a creature the likes of which are bound to the book in his pocket.

“I didn’t mean to hurt anyone,” Natsume finally says, and his voice comes out faint and faraway. Kaname has to strain himself to hear it, and his heart pounds when he realizes that he soon won’t be able to hear it at all. “I just wanted to be human, just for a little while.” His face crumples. “I didn’t mean for it to go on so long. But you were all so kind. And you were always so happy to see me. It made me want to stay.”

Kaname’s eyes are burning, but it’s no match for the pain in the pit of his chest. It hurts enough to cut through all the numbness, hot and sharp. He takes a step forward, and then another, and can’t do anything to close the distance that yawns between them. 

Kaname turns twenty-one in two months, and Natsume looks the same as he always has. Silver-washed, as though he melted out of moonlight to join Kaname on a walk through the woods; soft, and faintly wild, and all of sixteen. 


End file.
